The Best Bad Movies

I have seen my fair share of bad movies, mostly horror though. Jason and I have a keen sense of picking these out from On Demand and when we go to Blockbuster. I think a majority of the time we watch movies just for the possibility of it being a horribly bad, yet so good at the same time, movie. I've decided to comprise a list of "The Best Bad Movies" that I can remember. Note: a movie being on this list in NO way means that I hate it or would never watch it again.

Tommy

A "rock opera" based on the song "Pinball Wizard" by The Who. Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this movie. The writers, directors, actors, basically everyone involved with this film had to be tripping acid. It makes absolutely no sense at all. The more you try to figure out what's going on the harder it is to understand. And once you think you have a grasp on what the hell is going on, another trippy scene comes on will surely baffle you. As hard as it was to figure out I found myself glued to the tv, and I would watch it again. I would say the best scene in the movie was when the mom (played by Ann Margaret) threw a champaign bottle into the tv and then soap bubbles, then baked beans, then chocolate pudding came spewing out. All the while she is rolling around in it all and practically has sex with a pillow on her bed. The scene with Eric Clapton is pretty interesting, too. There is a religion based on Marilyn Monroe and for communion everyone gets pills and a swig of liquor.

Batman

I watched this movie for the first time in high school with Jen. It was on AMC at like 7 a.m. last week when Jason and I got up early to study for exams. Needless to say I watched the movie more than I studied for my exam (eh, I was gonna fail anyway). This movie just makes you think "how the hell did they come up with that?!" (Well, Tommy is definitely a lot like this, too.) Example: Batman and Robin's metallic belts are holding them on a buoy. There are torpedoes being shot at them; the first of which Batman somehow repels with some device. Then the batteries stop working and it looks like it's the end for Batman and Robin, but then the movie cuts away to them escaping on their boat and this is what they say...
Robin: Gosh, Batman. The nobility of that almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, Robin. It was nobile of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.
...How did they even think to come up with something like that? So ridiculous. However, the best scene in the movie is even more ridiculous. Batman and Robin are on a rope ladder attached to a helicopter. Batman gets dipped in the water and when he comes out there is a shark attached to his leg! But not just any shark, an exploding shark. Oh no, what to do?! "Hand down the shark repellent Batspray!", Batman says. And Batman lives to see another day. Really, this whole movie is filled with great lines and situations.

Scarecrow Gone Wild

I don't even really remember much of this movie because it was so bad I didn't pay too much attention to it. The title of it makes it sound like it's a scary movie with a lot of unnecessary nudity. The title is deceiving. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it probably would have been better if there were more boobies in it. At least then there would have been unnecessary scenes to make fun of. I remember one scene the scarecrow is like out on the beach and pops out of some rocks or something ridiculous like that. This movie was just bad.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

I actually enjoy watching this movie on a semi-regular basis, meaning once every couple of months. The shark footage in this movie is obviously yanked from the Discovery and/or National Geographic Channels. They keep using the same shots over and over, but at least they'll take the time and energy to flip the image so it looks different. The dubbing is horrible, the acting is shitty, and the plotline is pretty bad. However, the movie did provide one of the best pick-up lines ever...
Cataline: I'm exhausted.
Ben: Yeah, me, too. But you know, I'm really wired. What do you say I...take you home and eat your pussy.
:::Cut to an unnecessarily long and tacky shower scene:::

Honorable Mention
Embrace the Darkness II

This is a soft-core porno where vampires live off of (and get off on) sucking people's blood. They have this nightclub where they feast on innocent people, luckily for them they don't remember it the next morning. This one has a lot of unnecessary nudity. It's pretty bad, but good for a laugh.

"Get away from me bitch!"

I'm not quite sure how this Chuck Norris phenomenon swept colleges across the U.S., but I do not like it. It's annoying. His show sucked, his movies sucked, his sayings suck. All of a sudden everyone thinks it's cool to put these stupid Chuck Norris sayings about him roundhouse kicking everyone and ruling the world in their facebook and aim profiles. They're not funny. It starts off slow, then all of a sudden everyone is quoting them. And when the frat guys and sorority girls join in you know it's overdone. I like to think of it as the "Napoleon Dynamite syndrome." I loved that movie when it first came out in the summer of 2004 (not to say that I ever loved this Chuck Norris shit), then by fall everyone and their brother was saying "gosh, freakin' idiot." It's a good movie, but it got dragged through the mud and ruined. Now I can maybe watch that movie once a year. But now that everyone is quote these Chuck Norris things, I can't stand it even more. I can't wait until this one is over.

I seem to have an unusual talent for breaking laptops. Yay me.

So yesterday was Valentine's Day. The worst day for some and a great day for others. Mine was pretty good. Although it would have been better if teachers weren't so evil and assigned papers and quizzes the next day. On the note of Valentine's Day, I was driving in my car and heard that song "One is the lonelist number that you'll ever do" on the radio. I thought that was horrible, yet pretty funny at the same time, that they would play that song on V-Day. It's like they were saying "Hey all you lonely, single people out there, not only do you have a day to make you aware of this, but we're gonna play a song for you to really make you realize your relationship status."

I've never seen the show Laguna Beach, but from what I gather it is a MTV rip-off of The O.C. Something I've noticed by looking around on facebook is that a majority of people who seem to list this show as one of their favorites was girls and frat guys. Yeah, frat guys. I thought that was odd, and kinda fruity, that these guys would like this seemingly girly, teen soap opera type of show.

Reporting still sucks.

"I made the song skip." -Me when I was singing along with a song on a CD

Mood: Stressed
Music: "Like You Do" by REO Speedwagon