21

Man, I can't wait until I'm 21. Why? For the obvious reasons...obviously, but also because when you turn 21 you have the right to ditch all of your non-21 friends. Sounds so great. I can't wait until I can get away from all these worthless beings who aren't as old as me that clearly don't deserve my attention or presence. Oh wait, I take that back. They are good for one thing-- a sober ride. Whenever I'm wasted downtown and don't feel like walking in my heels or waiting for STRIPES these youngins' can pick me up. They obviously don't have the privilege like I do of going to exclusive 21 and up places, so they're probably just bored at home doing nothing anyway. They might as well drive my drunk ass home, right? But other than that they're really not good for anything else. I can't wait to be a part of the ever-so-exclusive 21 Club. Being 21 sounds so nice.

3 Nights in August

I recently finished reading 3 Nights in August by Buzz Bissinger. As most Cards fans should know, it's a book about a three game series against the cubs in 2003. Overall, the book was okay; not as good as I had hoped it would be. I learned some things about pitching and little about some of the players' personalities. In the book, the rivalry between the Cards and cubs is described the best way I've ever heard by comparing it to the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry. Most Cards fans will appreciate it so I thought I would share it on here. I completely agree with what Buzz wrote and I don't think enough people see it this way.

"The rivalry between the cubs and the Cardinals is probably the oldest and perhaps the best in baseball, no matter how the Red Sox and Yankees spit and spite at each other. That's a tabloid-fueled soap opera about money and ego and sound bites. That's a pair of bratty high-priced supermodels trying to trip each other in their stilettos on the runway. But the Cards-Cubs epic is about roots and geography and territorial rights. It's entwined in the Midwestern blood and therefore refreshing and honest and even heroic. It isn't simply two teams throwing tantrums at each other but two feudal city-states with eternal fans far beyond their own walls, spread throughout not only the Midwest but also deep into the South and the West."

Mmmm...smorgageboard

Overrated TV Show
Deal or No Deal--I just don't get America's fascination with this show. There is absolutely no talent, skill, or brains needed to be on it or win (well, maybe this is why America loves it so much...). The whole concept of the show is stupid. The contestant picks boxes and the "banker" offers money. It's the same thing the whole show. How the hell did this become the number 1 show?! Come on people, I know you have better taste than this. I will admit that I have watched it a few times, including tonight, but the only thing that keeps me watching is how ridiculous the contestants, the fam members, and the audience gets. Tonight's show had a (I'm assuming) gay guy and he was very flamboyant and all over the place, so he was entertaining to watch, but other than that I don't make sure to tune in every MWF to watch it. Oh and Howie Mandel. I loved him in Bobbie's World; that was a great show. However, I saw him on some talk show and he was incredibly cocky about being the host of Deal or No Deal and kept saying how it's the number 1 show in America and blah blah blah. Who cares, Howie?! You stand up there and say "the banker's offer is $47,000...Deal or No Deal, Larry?."

Under-rated Shows
My Name is Earl--On the same network as Deal or No Deal, this show is a lot lower in the ratings (to my surprise) than Deal or No Deal. The concept is very original and every week it's something completely new and different. Earl wants to right all the wrongs from his past, so he makes up a list and sets out to make up for all his mistakes. The characters in the show are great; they're all pretty much hoosier white trash. It's just hilarious. So, fuck you, Howie Mandel.
The Office--I haven't seen too many episodes of this show, but I like what I've seen so far. It's a scripted "reality" show about an office. The characters are pretty hilarious and wide-ranging.
The Bernie Mac Show--I really like this show. Bernie ends up getting his sister's kids and has an unusual approach to parenthood and has a hard time adjusting to it. It's a different kind of sitcom.

Songs I really like right now:
- "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress" by The Hollies
- "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC
- "Keep Fishin'" by Weezer (I love this video!)
- "Hurts So Good" by John Mellencamp
- "Across the Universe" by The Beatles
- "Miracle" by Foo Fighters
- "I Dare You" by Shinedown
- "Lazy Gun" by Jet

Some of the Greatest Inventions Ever:
TiVo--Ever since getting it I feel like I can't live without it. I can watch Seinfeld, My Name is Earl, and Jeopardy (yeah, I know I'm a dork) whenever I want, and that's such a great feeling. Plus we can save memorable moments such as the Bird Caller winners doing their thing and Tom Hanks' sound effects.
DJ ToneXpress--It lets you use MP3s from your computer to make your own ringtones and send them to your phone. You get to pick which part of a song you want and how long it lasts.

Other than that, GO CARDS! Kick some cub ass!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

I was super excited when I found this. I think everyone remembers this one. Enjoy.

How People Make Crayons

Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia.

Actually, I do like Asia...well, at least "Heat of the Moment."

Anyway, this post has nothing to do with Asia or being gay. It has to do with being lame, completely pathetically lame.

You know how I know you're lame? Because you Facebook friend request people based on their picture. You don't know a damn thing about them besides the fact that they're looking pretty damn fine in the pic. Come on guys, I know you're better than this. A couple days ago some KC guy that graduated from MU in '02 (a year and a half before I even got here) asked me to be his friend. I accepted only out of curiosity as to why this stranger asked me to be his friend. I messaged him today asking how I know him and his response was "do you know me? Cause if you dont you should get to!" Hello! Did this idiot not even look at my profile and see that I am clearly in a relationship with Mr. Jason Kern? Or did he stop at my picture and, based on that, decided that we should get to know each other a little better? Either way, this guy is a pathetic piece of shit (besides that fact that he's a shitty Chiefs and Royals fan).

The sad thing is that he's not the only one out there. This isn't the first time this has happened to me and some of my other close girl friends have had this happen to them on multiple occasions. You can put that you're only looking for friendship and guys will still want to "get to know you better." I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter what the profile says. The really desperate ones will still hit on you, even if it says you are a raging lesbo, as long as you look hot in your pic it doesn't matter.

Lesson here guys: don't use Facebook or MySpace as a grounds for meeting and/or hitting on girls; it's L-A-M-E. Thank you.

Worst Sequel Ever

While we're on the movie topic, I recently confirmed what the worst sequel ever made is.


As a child, and even now, this was/is one of my favorite movies of all time. When I heard a couple years ago a sequel was coming out, I was initially excited. Then, I started to think about how it could be nothing but bad because it was coming out over 10 years after the original and the original was just so incredibly good that any sequel would just pale in comparison. After that, I avoided this second movie at all costs...until spring break last week. It was way worse than I ever thought it could be. Where to begin...

1. It has the same narration voice as the first movie did. I didn't quite understand why this was.
2. This movie is set in the 70's. It plays up "hey this movie takes place in the 70's" a little too much. And when I say a little, I mean excessively. The girl player keeps calling the guys "male chauvinist pigs", while the boys reply with "she's liberated." Oh, and they use the phrase "jive turkey."
   
3. Remember the showdown between the Great Hambino and the little prick baseball player? Well, it's basically repeated in this movie. A back and forth name-calling war takes place almost ending with "and you play ball like a girl", just like the original. Oh yeah, and the catcher is a red, curly-haired, porkly kid. Fortunately he is nothing compared to the Ham. He lacks that edge and coolness.
4. There's a mini Smalls.
5. There's a love story.
6. One of them kisses a girl hardcore, just like Smalls did.
7. Mini Smalls tells the story about why they shouldn't go over the fence, except this time it's slightly different.
8. And why do they need to go over the fence? For some stupid rocket thing. And of course, they go through a series of attempts to retrieve the object.

This is just a small list of why this movie blows ass. I stopped paying attention toward the end because it was so bad. I don't see why studios choose to pick up pieces of shit like this to make. Fortunately, I believe that the original can stand up on its own, and this pile won't destroy the amazing awesomeness of the original because it was just that good. Overall, it was a carbon copy of the original and most parts of the movie didn't make any sense of all.
My rating: -10 out of 10

The Best Bad Movies

I have seen my fair share of bad movies, mostly horror though. Jason and I have a keen sense of picking these out from On Demand and when we go to Blockbuster. I think a majority of the time we watch movies just for the possibility of it being a horribly bad, yet so good at the same time, movie. I've decided to comprise a list of "The Best Bad Movies" that I can remember. Note: a movie being on this list in NO way means that I hate it or would never watch it again.

Tommy

A "rock opera" based on the song "Pinball Wizard" by The Who. Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this movie. The writers, directors, actors, basically everyone involved with this film had to be tripping acid. It makes absolutely no sense at all. The more you try to figure out what's going on the harder it is to understand. And once you think you have a grasp on what the hell is going on, another trippy scene comes on will surely baffle you. As hard as it was to figure out I found myself glued to the tv, and I would watch it again. I would say the best scene in the movie was when the mom (played by Ann Margaret) threw a champaign bottle into the tv and then soap bubbles, then baked beans, then chocolate pudding came spewing out. All the while she is rolling around in it all and practically has sex with a pillow on her bed. The scene with Eric Clapton is pretty interesting, too. There is a religion based on Marilyn Monroe and for communion everyone gets pills and a swig of liquor.

Batman

I watched this movie for the first time in high school with Jen. It was on AMC at like 7 a.m. last week when Jason and I got up early to study for exams. Needless to say I watched the movie more than I studied for my exam (eh, I was gonna fail anyway). This movie just makes you think "how the hell did they come up with that?!" (Well, Tommy is definitely a lot like this, too.) Example: Batman and Robin's metallic belts are holding them on a buoy. There are torpedoes being shot at them; the first of which Batman somehow repels with some device. Then the batteries stop working and it looks like it's the end for Batman and Robin, but then the movie cuts away to them escaping on their boat and this is what they say...
Robin: Gosh, Batman. The nobility of that almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, Robin. It was nobile of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.
...How did they even think to come up with something like that? So ridiculous. However, the best scene in the movie is even more ridiculous. Batman and Robin are on a rope ladder attached to a helicopter. Batman gets dipped in the water and when he comes out there is a shark attached to his leg! But not just any shark, an exploding shark. Oh no, what to do?! "Hand down the shark repellent Batspray!", Batman says. And Batman lives to see another day. Really, this whole movie is filled with great lines and situations.

Scarecrow Gone Wild

I don't even really remember much of this movie because it was so bad I didn't pay too much attention to it. The title of it makes it sound like it's a scary movie with a lot of unnecessary nudity. The title is deceiving. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it probably would have been better if there were more boobies in it. At least then there would have been unnecessary scenes to make fun of. I remember one scene the scarecrow is like out on the beach and pops out of some rocks or something ridiculous like that. This movie was just bad.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

I actually enjoy watching this movie on a semi-regular basis, meaning once every couple of months. The shark footage in this movie is obviously yanked from the Discovery and/or National Geographic Channels. They keep using the same shots over and over, but at least they'll take the time and energy to flip the image so it looks different. The dubbing is horrible, the acting is shitty, and the plotline is pretty bad. However, the movie did provide one of the best pick-up lines ever...
Cataline: I'm exhausted.
Ben: Yeah, me, too. But you know, I'm really wired. What do you say I...take you home and eat your pussy.
:::Cut to an unnecessarily long and tacky shower scene:::

Honorable Mention
Embrace the Darkness II

This is a soft-core porno where vampires live off of (and get off on) sucking people's blood. They have this nightclub where they feast on innocent people, luckily for them they don't remember it the next morning. This one has a lot of unnecessary nudity. It's pretty bad, but good for a laugh.

"Get away from me bitch!"

I'm not quite sure how this Chuck Norris phenomenon swept colleges across the U.S., but I do not like it. It's annoying. His show sucked, his movies sucked, his sayings suck. All of a sudden everyone thinks it's cool to put these stupid Chuck Norris sayings about him roundhouse kicking everyone and ruling the world in their facebook and aim profiles. They're not funny. It starts off slow, then all of a sudden everyone is quoting them. And when the frat guys and sorority girls join in you know it's overdone. I like to think of it as the "Napoleon Dynamite syndrome." I loved that movie when it first came out in the summer of 2004 (not to say that I ever loved this Chuck Norris shit), then by fall everyone and their brother was saying "gosh, freakin' idiot." It's a good movie, but it got dragged through the mud and ruined. Now I can maybe watch that movie once a year. But now that everyone is quote these Chuck Norris things, I can't stand it even more. I can't wait until this one is over.

I seem to have an unusual talent for breaking laptops. Yay me.

So yesterday was Valentine's Day. The worst day for some and a great day for others. Mine was pretty good. Although it would have been better if teachers weren't so evil and assigned papers and quizzes the next day. On the note of Valentine's Day, I was driving in my car and heard that song "One is the lonelist number that you'll ever do" on the radio. I thought that was horrible, yet pretty funny at the same time, that they would play that song on V-Day. It's like they were saying "Hey all you lonely, single people out there, not only do you have a day to make you aware of this, but we're gonna play a song for you to really make you realize your relationship status."

I've never seen the show Laguna Beach, but from what I gather it is a MTV rip-off of The O.C. Something I've noticed by looking around on facebook is that a majority of people who seem to list this show as one of their favorites was girls and frat guys. Yeah, frat guys. I thought that was odd, and kinda fruity, that these guys would like this seemingly girly, teen soap opera type of show.

Reporting still sucks.

"I made the song skip." -Me when I was singing along with a song on a CD

Mood: Stressed
Music: "Like You Do" by REO Speedwagon

I'm so tired

AH! I'm 20!

So I just figured out all on my own how Arby's got its name. Arby's is famous for its Roast Beef. Get it? R..Bs...Arby's. I felt like I stumbled upon some sort of revelation when I realized what the name meant. I feel like I'm one of the only people in the world that knows this secret, but I'm sure I'm wrong. Was this some sort of common knowledge thing? Like how everyone and their brother knows about Tilles having a Christmas light display except me?

I was driving down my street the other day while it was dark and 2 cars flashed their brights at me within 10 seconds. I had my lights on; I don't know what the deal was. I wasn't going extremely slow or fast, so I am really confused about that.

Thank you to 106.5 the Arch for solving a 10 year mystery for me. I had always thought that the song "Hold on Loosely" by .38 Special sounded extremely similar to this other song that I never knew the name to but it went "I'm so caught up in you, little girl, you're the one that's got me down on my knees..." And when I was like 9 I loved both songs, but got them mixed up because I thought they sounded almost exactly the same. I remember being mad at the group who sang the song "Hold on Loosely" because they obviously ripped off some other group and used the same rhythym in this song as the group that made that "caught up in you" song. Well, after not hearing the "caught up in you" song for like 7 years I heard it on the Arch and they announced the name of the song and who sang it. It turns out that the song is "Caught up in You" by none other than .38 Special. I was freaking out in the car because my frustrations with both songs and their singer(s) for 10 years was finally over.

So today's shift at KOMU made me realize how much I hate reporting. My first 3 shifts weren't that bad at all, but today was horrible. I can't wait until week 9, because then I'll be able to do producing or something sports related...as long as my grades are good enough, fingers crossed.

I've got the blues, the reds, and the pinks

So I got to go on a second tour of the new Busch Stadium today (thanks to Katie's dad) and it was just as amazing, if not better, than the first tour I took. I do miss Busch, without a doubt, but I am quite excited about the new stadium. We were standing in the Cards dugout looking out onto the field and it dawned on me that old Busch wasn't there anymore. I almost completely forgot about it since there is no trace of it ever being there. I was so overwhelmed by the amazingness of the new stadium that I forgot about the old. Attention all Cards fans: You will love the new stadium. Trust me. It's beautiful and has an awesome view of downtown, which the old one lacked. That's one thing about the new one that I really like, the attention put into the surrounding St. Louis area. There is a nice view of the Court House, Arch, Bowling Hall of Fame, and surrounding buildings. I also like how it's made to look old. The old stadium pulled out the features of the also-rising Arch, while the new one mimics the Eads Bridge.
I've been dying to watch a good baseball game for the past month. All my sports teams either suck, or suck so bad they aren't in contention anymore. I went to a Blues game earlier this week for the first time in almost 2 years. I thought that this would take my attention away from my need for baseball and maybe get me excited for hockey again. Nope. Although it was a good, exciting game we lost to the Predators. This made me realize even more how much the Blues suck and how much I want my baseball back. Then the stadium tour today made me realize how far away the season is. I think it's because of the fact that the new stadium isn't completed yet. I would look at all the work that has been done and see how much work they have yet to do and it makes Opening Day seem like forever away. But, at least I know where I will be on April 10th at 3:10 p.m. Only 3 more months...